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AID AND A-BET
by Bobby Smith
Sports Reporter Editor

 
OCTOBER, 2019: Troy Aikman needs to stop talking! You keep thinking the guy will zip it and let us watch fresh action taking place without distracting everyone with his empty analysis of nothing. But no, he just keeps on rambling, like Deputy Barney Fife on quaaludes. The Giants got themselves into a first down and 20 situation in the fourth quarter while their Thursday trip to New England was slipping away from them (enjoyably, for Patriots -17 players!). After New York managed to gain 13 yards on first and second down, Aikman blabbered into the next play about how it was really impressive that the Giants had gotten so many of the yards back on only two plays. As if no NFL offense had ever done better than getting itself into a third-and-seven from first-and-20? What is wrong with this guy? A little later, he is talking over a play, saying that Giants general manager Dave Gettleman has put together a team that /I think, can be competitive for a long time./ A) Who cares what you think? B) It is the NFL, Troy! Every team is supposed to be competitive for a long time! The one goal of the NFL is for parity to exist! You can say the same thing about all 32 teams! There is a salary cap, and a draft that goes in reverse order of the standings! Ninety percent of the pointspreads are 8 points or less, one score! Except that on this night, the Giants were taking more than twice as many points as 8, and lost by 21! Shut up, Troy Aikman! Put a monkey next to Joe Buck and let it say eek-eek-eek in between plays and it would make as much sense!
* * *
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